Exhibition Text
on CanvasTitle: Tortuous Noise
Size: 2 ft x 2 ft Medium: Oil Paint Date: November 2022 |
"Tortuous Noise" is an oil painting on a 2x2 canvas I made. It depicts a portrait of me in clear distress, made in red, orange, and yellow hues. It was inspired by a section of the painting "Venus, Cupid, Folly, and Time," by the Florentine painter Angolo Bronzino. It was created in about 1545 and is also known as, "An Allegory of Venus and Cupid and A Triumph of Venus".
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Inspiration
"Venus, Cupid, Folly and Time" (also called "An Allegory of Venus and Cupid and A Triumph of Venus") is an allegorical painting of about 1545 by the Florentine painter Agnolo Bronzino. It is now in the National Gallery, London. Scholars do not know for certain what the painting depicts. The painting has come to be known as Venus, Cupid, Folly and Time, and it is generally agreed among art historians that these are the main figures. Cupid and Venus are kissing in the foreground, while Folly prepares to envelope them with rose petals. The bald man, believed to be Time, is at the top, looking to the side and holding a cloth. Unfortunately, the meaning of the other three figures and the interactions between them all is unknown. The painting portrays ambivalence, eroticism, and obscure imagery,, which are are characteristic of the Mannerist period. The term "mannerism" is from the Italian maniera, meaning simply “style,” mannerism is sometimes defined as the “stylish style” for its emphasis on self-conscious artifice over realistic depiction. Artists believed that, "excellence in painting demanded refinement, richness of invention, and virtuoso technique, criteria that emphasized the artist’s intellect". This intellectual bias was, in part, a natural consequence of the artists' new status in society. No longer regarded as craftsmen, painters and sculptors took their place with scholars, poets, and humanists in a climate that fostered an appreciation for elegance, complexity, and even precocity. Mannerism’s bizarre, sometimes acid color, illogical compression of space, elongated proportions and exaggerated anatomy of figures in convoluted, serpentine poses—frequently creates a feeling of anxiety. Works appear strange and unsettling, despite their superficial naturalism. Mannerism coincided with a period of upheaval that was torn by the Reformation, plague, and the devastating sack of Rome. After its inception in central Italy around 1520, mannerism spread to other regions of Italy and to northern Europe. In Italy, however, it remained largely a product of artists in Florence and Rome. Under these definitions, it is clear that the inspiration falls under the umbrella of mannerism.
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The painting, following renaissance paintings, uses very dramatic, languid poses for all the figures. They are also much brighter than the background, making them pop against the blacks and blues. There is not an area of the piece without something happening-it feels very chaotic and its is hard to find just one thing to focus on, as every glance reveals more and more detail. It feels very discombobulated by still manages to invoke emotions through the realistic, story-heavy nature of the work.
I was particularly transfixed by the part of the painting in which a man is clearly being driven to madness. I decided that it would be a good way for me to express a specific part of my mental health that has been affected throughout the years. When I was five years old, I developed a cognitive disorder called misophonia, and I felt as though the expression on the man's face matched the mental turmoil I feel as a result of this disorder. |
Misophonia is a condition where a person has a severe sensitivity to specific soft sounds and visual images. When a person hears the sounds, the person has a very strong emotional reaction such as hate, anger, anxiety, rage, and resentment and physiological distress. It is not a sensitivity to the volume of sound, but an emotional and physiological reaction to specific sounds. The misophonic reaction appears to be an involuntary physical and emotional reflex caused by the sound. The sound directly activates the Autonomic Nervous System which is located in the brain stem and the Limbic System which is associated with emotion. Behavior science explains this physiological reaction as a “respondent” or “reflex” behavior that has been acquired or developed by pairing the sound with a distressed (stress, anxiety, etc.) physiological condition. When these two things happen at the same time (distress and the sound), it creates neurological wiring in the brain that causes the misophonia reaction when the sound is heard again. The reaction often develops first to a parent or family member where the person has a high level of anxiety or distress (physiological state of distress) and they repeatedly hear the sound. It also seems to happen when a person cannot escape from the sound, such as at the dinner table, in a car, or even laying in bed. In rare cases, the original misophonia trigger has been a repeating visual image (body movement).
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Once the misophonic response is established for one sound, other sounds seem to be added over time. Because of this, those with misophonia often have a number of sounds that cause the reflex reaction, and it may impact many aspects of their lives. Without treatment, the prognosis for misophonia is grim. The misophonic responses usually get worse and worse, and the negative impact on the person’s life gets progressively greater. Along with the emotions come physiological (bodily) actions that go along with such emotions. These include increased general muscle tension, increased heart rate, sweating, and feelings of overwhelming distress. When the trigger ceases, the emotional upheaval generally continues. Many people continue to hear the sound in their mind and replay the experience in their mind. While it may only take a few minutes for a person to become extremely distraught from the triggers, it can take hours for the person to calm down and resume normal life.
I have had the disorder since I was five years old, and it progressively worsened throughout the years until it affected almost every second of my day. My triggers began with a few sounds from my sister, then graduated to ANY sound that she made, rendering us unable to speak or even be in the same room together. It was only when I was fifteen that I was diagnosed, only to find that there is not a cure. My triggers include chewing food, chewing gum, lip smacking, licking, swallowing, crunching, sipping, slurping, (speaking, humming, breathing, movement and more from my sister), plates/bowls being stacked, silverware clinking, sniffing, heavy or nasally breathing, snoring, people walking upstairs or heavily, and visual triggers of chewing and leg bouncing. It causes different reactions for different triggers, including While the disorder is actually quite common, it is rarely diagnosed, and not commonly researched or studied. This leaves limited options for treatment. I met with one of the founder of the Misophonia Institute and he deemed me one of the worst cases he had ever seen of misophonia and agreed to take me on as a client via online meetings. The cognitive behavioral therapy wasn't working well, so I switched to another therapist to do hypnotherapy. Unfortunately, there are only around 6 people in the world who practice it for misophonia, and most are in Europe. Essentially, finding a solution has taken years of diligent research, only for it to be mostly unsuccessful. School is very difficult for me, mostly due to the triggers of gum chewing and sniffing, so I scraped together money for a pair of sound-generating hearing aids.
Planning and Experimentation
The first part of my planning entailed me making sketches in my process journal and brainstorming ideas. I focused heavily on exploring the emotions I wanted to portray in the painting and what techniques I could use to create those effects. What I settled on was firmer brushes and harsh, fast strokes to use in the background. It adds a sense of chaos, turmoil, and appears to be fuzzy and swirling. I thought that this would be a cool textural choice to include in my work. I knew that the emotions showcased would have to be turbulent, violent, and scary, and I found shades of red created that sensation the best out of all the colors I could have chosen. Blues and greens and purples incite feelings of sadness and calm, in opposition.
Process
My process consisted of testing out different poses first with a timer on my camera. I knew I wanted to cover my ears and look highly distressed to help convey how severe the emotional side of misophonia can be. Once I settled on one, I edited it in the photos app to change the color and feeling of the photo, turning it more red to help express the violent emotions that misophonia can cause and create a stronger effect. I liked the reduction of some details, as it would lead to me having to worry less about less important details during the actual painting process.
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The next step in the process was to transfer the outline in grid form onto the constructed and gessoed 3x3 foot canvas board. Next, I created a red wash over the entire canvas, as I wanted it to be a base tone for the rest of the work. Once it had dried, I added rough, streaking strokes across the background in black, brown, and dark red tones. I wanted it to look chaotic and full of confusion and turmoil, like the emotions that can arise from misophonia. I then began filling in the basic blocks of color, such as the red, orange, and yellow hues that I could build a base off of.
Once I had done that, I painted in the black and grays of the shirt. I decided not to go into too much detail around the shirt, and would rather leave it as simple as possible to not take away from the details of the facial features. I used a mix of dark red and black to create the shadow around the mouth and eyes. I noticed the texture was becoming thick in some places and thin in others, with uneven areas of coverage.
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The next portion of my process was to zero in on the areas that were still transparent. I was searching for a more opaque look, so that the first layers on the canvas were not visible. This included a synthetic hog hair brush and application of multiple layers of paint. This can be seen mostly on the face and hands, as depicted above. I used nylon-based brushes for blending together different colors and transitions, as they were much softer. Below shows the evolution of the piece as I continue to make layers and layers, filling it out and adding depth and definition. I noticed the eyes were off and did my best to level them out, as well as adding in the first layers of the hair. I painted in the areas of the most darkness. Also, I added the yellows and oranges in the hands, fingers, and forehead-side of the face where the light was shining on it in the reference photo. It's at this stage that the accuracy to the reference grew less and less and I based my decisions on how I felt it should look, as I didn't have the grid to guide me.
At this stage, I entered the final details of the project. This included a few details, such as the eyes, hair, and brows, the teeth, lips, and highlights on my face, hands, and shirt.
Critique
In terms of the entire piece, there are many differences in the work of the inspiration on my own in terms of both composition and meaning. The entire meaning of the inspiration is mostly unknown, whereas I had a very clear purpose for my work. The movement in the larger piece works in somewhat of a square, with lots of underlying, small details (such as the spot I took inspiration from). In that regard, the expression of anguish, anger, and distress are similar, with strong emotions coming through in both works. There is similarity in how it is composed, with the face in the center and surrounded by the arms/hands. The color scheme is different, with the original being in a multitude of colors and an overall cool tone, with mine in a mix of blacks, reds, oranges, yellows, and some white.
Reflection
I think that this is my favorite painting I've done so far. I feel like I was the most calm while creating it, which aided in my ability make critical decisions about techniques while painting. This helped it to look the most realistic and professional, say, in comparison to the diptych I did Junior year. Since then, I have definitely developed some skills, such as brush control and a better understanding of color theory in painting. I have also become more familiar with oil paint as a whole, which has helped my comfort level so I could focus on the task at hand. I still feel like I could have done a lot better, and that there is a lot I needed to fix to make it look satisfactory. I wish it had turned out differently, and I hesitate to show it as a part of my portfolio on account of how bad it looks.